Hank the Gangster
Hank: The Horse Who Stole My Heart
by Meagan Good, MA, LPC; Founder of Take Heart
July 2, 2024
Hank is not your typical therapy horse.
In fact, I have met equine professionals who would probably not keep Hank in their program. Hank is very opinionated and tells you exactly what he thinks. He’s not very patient, and he’s not the most tolerant of beginner’s mistakes. He has bitten and kicked, and he knows how to intimidate… and at around 1,200 lbs, Hank coming at you with pinned ears is certainly intimidating.
But before I tell you exactly how Hank stole my heart, you’ve got to get to know him better.
When I first met him, Hank was like the misunderstood tough kid in middle school. Hank would wear an emo band tee, ripped and stained skinny jeans, chucks, and an old black leather jacket with spikes and band patches. He’d have choppy black hair with a purple streak in the bangs that cover one eye. Everything about him would say “don’t come too close.” He was angry at the world.
In spring of 2021, Take Heart was in desperate need of a draft horse to join the herd. Grant found Hank’s ad on Craigslist – listed as a gentle 16 hand Belgian cross, Hank fit the bill. We were told he worked at a huge lesson stable before becoming a trail horse. But when we arrived at the run-down trail-ride stable and met Hank, he was at least 3 inches too short and that’s with too-long feet and shoes. Hank was a bit underweight and dirty – almost mangey in appearance. He was saddled with tack that was literally stapled together, and bridled with his bit upside down and backwards in his mouth.
After adjusting his tack and doing some groundwork, I got on to ride in the too-small pen. Hank didn’t buck or rear, but he fought my every request. He was just miserable.
I knew I didn’t really have time for a project horse, and I had a very limited budget – so after some consideration I was ready to leave. The owner said he would take Hank to New Holland Auction… not necessarily a good outcome for a horse… but I felt I really needed a ready to go horse. After all, Take Heart’s mission isn’t necessarily to rescue and rehab horses either. Grant suggested I give Hank another chance – but take him out of the pen, and onto the trail. After all, he was a trail horse.
I looked Hank in the eye and talked him through my dilemma. I literally told Hank “I can give you a good home – but if you want to get out of here, I need you to show me you can try. I don’t need you to be perfect, but I do need you to try.” We went out on the trail and Hank rode like a different horse! He was actually nearly perfect – everything I was looking for that day originally. With much praise, we purchased Hank and took him home.
At first, Hank was fantastic – he just needed to be loved and his sweet side began to come out. Hank loved snuggles and butt scratches, would take anyone on a lovely ride, and was learning to connect emotionally with people. He became fast friends with the other geldings in the field – his favorite game is what we call “bitey-face” and Hank became known as “Hank the Gangster” because he was definitely the instigator in the field.
But not even three months in, one of our volunteers jumped Hank without permission and he injured a suspensory ligament. (Maybe another time I’ll share that story!) It took Hank over a year to heal. He needed to rest it but didn’t tolerate his stall well, so had to be separated – and when it would begin to heal, he kept reinjuring himself in the field playing with his friends. It was a very difficult period for both of us. Now, over 3 years later, Hank is still not 100% on that leg. It is healed enough for walk-trot work but he may never heal fully.
Additionally, through 2023, we saw Hank’s attitude turn for the worse. He began turning back into that tough kid, intimidating people when he anticipated any requests. Like a toddler learning the word “no,” “no” became his favorite word! Sensing that his “no” was pain-related, we began hunting down issues. We treated for Lyme’s disease, we x-rayed his spine, we ultrasounded his leg, we x-rayed and pulled a bad tooth… none of it improved his mood. In fact, we are currently treating AGAIN for Lyme’s because in re-testing, we found his numbers to be extremely high despite our previous attempt to treat.
I felt like I failed Hank. All along, he was telling us he still didn’t feel good.
Ok, Meagan, where is this going? This doesn’t seem like a happy horse story yet.
Hank is definitely in process… he’s in the middle of his story. But aren’t we all? Have any of us yet “arrived?”
As I write, Hank is mostly on pasture rest while he is being treated for Lyme’s. His daily interaction is mostly for his care, with an occasional session through the week to just love on him. With horses, just like people, it’s so important that we meet them where they are at. Someone recently told me (and it rang true) that horses are always trying their best. They are never doing the wrong thing – they are doing what they believe is the right thing in the moment.
With this in mind, Hank teaches me to have grace and patience. He teaches me to look beneath the tough behaviors at what he is asking for: safety. Connection. Hank, just like any of us, needs to be seen, heard, and accepted just as he is.
Like the tough middle-schooler, Hank’s behaviors, meant to protect his vulnerable heart, sometimes sabotage connection. So when instead of disconnecting from him, I can stay connected and be present with him in his feelings, I teach him that it is safe to express his feelings and needs.
Annnnd…. I realize that can sound like absolute bull crap! In fact, I’ve had people ask me if I’m kidding when I talk about this. We were even the subject of a local horse trainer’s social media post where he attacked “all this relationship nonsense with horses.”
But there is no denying the change in horses, and in humans, when their feelings are validated as I am able to hold connection with them in the hard feelings, and as they are allowed to express those feelings however they need to.
There are healthy boundaries in healthy relationships too — so Hank is not allowed to kick me or bite me to express his feelings, for example. If he is “acting out,” I may ask him to step away or take a few steps away myself. I don’t disconnect, but I do detach from the behavior for safety. He’s allowed to have his feelings, but he’s not allowed to take them out on me. The reverse is true as well!
What I’m seeing in Hank is that as we are holding space for him like this – his resistance is decreasing. He is building a tolerance for being asked to do something – and instead of allowing his illness to create bad habits, we are able to work through those habits as he heals. Instead of him feeling the need to bring up old protective defenses, Hank is learning to stay connected and “have a conversation” about the request.
It sounds so simple and basic – I know. That trainer, if he ever reads this, is definitely rolling his eyes and wondering if I’ll ever just get on Hank and make him ride again. The answer is that I’ll wait until Hank and I both feel ready, when we’ve had lots of conversations about pressure and saddling and mounting and riding again – before I actually get on and have a conversation with him from his back. Because Hank’s feelings in all this matter.
In this whole process of working with Hank through his past, through his injury and illness, and as we begin conversations about riding again – I have completely fallen in love with Hank- he stole my heart. He is obstinate and overly offendable… but he is teaching me to reframe these as assertive and sensitive – both really good traits. These are what make him a great therapy horse. He calls out what he sees honestly and in the moment. He tells you when you’ve got something wrong. He senses the smallest change in emotion or behavior. As a therapist, he’s amazing to work with because he gives such clear feedback about what’s happening between him and the client, and this helps the client to see clearly too.
Ironically, the word I got for Hank from God was “Fighter.” Hank certainly lived a lot of his life fighting. Like the tough middle schooler, it’s how he adapted to hard things. But now we’re getting to see a new side of “Fighter” as Hank heals.
Is he the easiest horse to work with? No. He requires you to build trust with him. He asks for butt scratches and not always in the most respectful way. He thinks he’s a lap dog some days. But being taught that he’s allowed to express himself has helped him come out of his shell and shine as a playful, talented therapy horse that challenges people in all the right ways.
I’ll leave you with this final picture of Hank, because it’s a perfect representation of where Hank is at in his process. In learning to trust again, after a year or so of trying to tell us how he was hurting, he is finally becoming snuggly again. But, in true Hank not-so-great-boundaries but sensitive-to-all-things-therapy fashion, he laid right on Nicole’s lap. For context, she was processing some stressors and moved out of the “present moment” into task & stress mode… and he completely called her out by flattening her to just rest together. 😉
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